Pressures

There is something wrong when your hobby starts to make you crazy. And seems to take the joy out of life. I have felt that way a couple of times over the last year with my photography. I just couldn't be bothered to take photographs, even though I should. More than that, I really didn't want to take pictures. Like when we went to Europe this summer. I just wanted to do stuff, without wondering what would make a good picture. And over the last couple of months I have felt that way about this blog. It became a chore. Something on the "To Do" list, after washing dishes and before vaccuming. And the pressure of not doing it was way worse than not doing dishes. There is no record of the days I didn't do the housework (and thank god for that!), but on the blog their are the huge gaps between entries. And probably everybody has given up reading my blog anyway. But one night the whole pressure thing seemed like just one to many things I "had" to do, and it was keeping me awake. I had a huge urge to turn on the lights, log on to the computer and delete the whole damn site. But I made a deal with myself. That if I still felt the same way in a week, I could make the whole thing disappear. But I was hoping I wouldn't feel the same way. Well, I no longer feel like it's a 20 pound burden on my back anymore. But I'm still not convinced I should keep going. Hey, I got on and ranted about how I felt, so maybe that's a good sign. Maybe.