Natalie Goes to Japan

40 year old very married blonde woman having a midlife crisis who heads to Japan alone to follow her dreams. Be careful what you wish for ... you just may get it.

Friday, May 05, 2006

To the Depths of Hell

I have always known that death was not the scariest part of life. But I have never had to face either death, or it's worse options. And within the last week I have had to face both. After my mother's tracheotomy, her heart and lungs improved. But her mental functioning did not. I had to face the fact that my mother may have had oxygen depravation that caused brain damage. And that is what is worse than death. And I found I am not strong enough to deal with that. But things have gotten better. My mother is not as disoriented and confused as she was. She is starting to answer tougher questions correctly. And when the doctor asked her my name, she definately croaked "Natalie". It's still very hard to sit here, and worry and yet smile and look strong, when all you want to do is run away, far far away.

7 Comments:

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At 5:18 PM, Anonymous Someone who reads your blog said...

I know what it's like to want to just run away from it all. I stayed away from home for two days when my grandmother (she brought me up)passed away from cancer. Couldn't and didn't want to face the fact that she was gone. Finally, returned for the funeral.

As tough as it is, it's still good that your mum is improving. Stay strong...

 
At 10:43 AM, Anonymous Wendy said...

I'm glad to hear that your mother is improving. My biggest fear in life is having my parents become ill. I just don't know if I could take care of them. It scares me.

 
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