Hamamatsu Enquirer

3 Year Old Japanese Boy Hits American Teacher and Creates International Incident

Dateline Hamamatsu, Japan - 3 year old Toshiki brutally attacked his English teacher yesterday before 23 witnesses. Ms. Davis was struck twice, but was able to walk away from beating unaided. After reporting said crime to community center authorities an investigation was launched. Several witnesses apparently came forward to report the vicous thrashing endured by the poor unfortunate foreigner. A panel of 5 Japanese authorites were convened to look into the matter and quickly judged the child to be a monster and are considering actions that may include time outs, temporary dismissal, permanent dismissal, branding, lobotomy or even deportation. After several phone calls to the teacher by various authoriies, Ms. Davis was quoted as saying "This incident has been completely overblown. When I reported it to the community center I just wanted permission to tell his mother she must remove him from the room for 5 minutes." Experts say that many victims want to blame themselves and that Ms. Davis cannot be trusted to be impartial in this matter. They also say she may be suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Japanese officials hope to keep the situation from becoming a barrier to Japanese-American relations, especially on the heels of Pres. Bush's recent visit.